#currentsituation: religion, love

Religion is nothing more than an accurate expression and at the same time explanation of love.

Something irrational and infinite - such a thing can only be called love. The love of god, in this case.

Where human love might perish when the imperfections of the loved one surface, the love of god can be timeless, since god (as the imaginary, thus perfect being) is completely incapable of doing anything to alter the image of perfection. Everything else is simply an act of human imagination.


#currentsituation Freedom: purpose

Today I came across a nice caption regarding life's purpose: 'Some of the most interesting people I know don't know what to do with their lives'. #currentsituation

I find this quite intriguing as true at the same time, plus it spoke to me whereas I figure myself in the same situation (whether I am interesting or not, that is for others to decide).

The point is 'the purpose'. I am inclined to believe that it's the purpose that really shapes us, rather than the environment. Of course, the environment has its input on us, nevertheless, but I believe it's the purpose, may it be final or temporary, that really drives us in some direction.

I reckon this is why these folks look interesting: they explore alternatives, strong enough not to give in to a single paradigm, yet not powerful enough to really commit to anything. It's all about the perspective on change: instead of adapting to change, we live the change, we try and be the change, ultimately we bring the change. Unsettling as it is, I like to think it as evolution.


#currentsituation Entrapment? Freedom?

All my life I've been trying to avoid myself: to destroy all that's been implemented by parents, education, society and above all, I tried not to live the life of my parents. 

Of course, this is bullshit at some level, since I live in the society. However, the thought of leaving the ME, like a snail can leave an empty shell behind, never disappeared. After I first experienced it during my teens (experienced is correct - it struck me like some sort of a foreign influence), I thought that it came as a natural manifestation of the confusion due to the age.

In time, I've learned to live with it, while continuously feeling inadequate to any environment, family, friends, work. The paradox which followed me along the way is the fact that I managed to get very well into all aspects of this life. Got the social skills, and I can't stand people. Got a good job and I'm pretty good at what I do, and I don't see like I'm doing some thing useful at all. Got friends, and never really felt completely comfortable with them, got girlfriends, but never really knew what a relationship implied.

The deep feeling of inadequacy never left me. It only determined me to try and find a solution that would ultimately get me to fit in. Nothing worked, so far, still I strive every day to be a better human.

I try to get to another level, somehow. Emotions are obsolete. They are no more than recurrent impressions of the past. Somehow I don't feel the joy of joy and the despair inflicted by pain; it's all diluted and senseless as I watch myself from another dimension at times. I wish it were depression, but it isn't, at least not yet. That's what I meant by losing grip.

Sometimes I long for that  down to Earth stuff so I prey on others' emotions: this lasts for a little while, of course, but in the end it's like listening to the same old song. The only funny part in this is wondering: what's next? Is this entrapment or freedom?