#currentsituation Thought of the day: Freedom in a nutshell

I am a nutshell in the middle of the ocean. Whether I sink underneath the surface or still float ashore, I will still be a nutshell. This is my strength.


#currentsituation: Thought of the day - Love

"My love, you are my reason to live!"
"So, what would you do if I disappeared?"
"I'll keep on living with no reason whatsoever."


#currentsituation: Free thinking - a perspective

Losing perspective might lead to taking poor decisions. This is why it is always good to detach from the concrete reality and assess the bigger picture.

Whenever the question regarding the purpose of it all overwhelms me, whenever I feel that all is lost and old, whenever the world doesn't make any sense to me at all, whenever I feel like a living breathing zombie, I only do one thing. While driving on the motorway, I close my eyes for 5 seconds when going over 100 mph *. 5 seconds, no more, no less. That 200 yard ride in complete darkness is the equivalent of staring into the abyss.

This gives me a better grip on reality rather than thinking there are others more unfortunate than I am or comparing myself to other more unfortunate people. This is because only feeling the real thing gets me going. It doesn't help me to know people are starving somewhere and that my problems are nothing compared to theirs. It doesn't help me knowing that others succeeded or failed miserably. 

I need to experience myself things, build my own reality, never trying to achieve some other pre-packaged way of life. Of course, I listen to advice and try to learn from the others, but ultimately I want to be able to say: 'I built this, I worked my way up to here, this is me!'

* - do not, under any circumstances, try this on your local motorway. It may result in serious injuries or death.


#currentsituation: Thought of the day - Killing time

Killing time is no more than a small scale suicide: you don't end up dead, but you just end up closer to death.


#currentsituation: You are not special

You are not special. From the minute you've been born, you've started on the path of the average person. 

Regardless of the environment you we born in, you were the average baby, one of the billions of babies born into this world.
You weren't special as a child. You grew up and learned your mother tongue and another million things just as any kid. You've been told you were special by your parents, that's true, but this is what all parents think of their children. Well, at least they should. I'm not discussing special cases here. This is a generic, not a special essay.

You grew up, went through nursery and kindergarten and school and high-school  You grew up to be a teenager. Here's when your own opinions started to count somehow. But being told by parents and teachers and friends that you were special wasn't quite the truth. You might have been
special to them because they thought so, for some reason. But you weren't special yourself. Just another human being growing up, learning, adapting, making mistakes. Average. Just like the rest. 
And then maybe you went to college and got a job. Or no college, but still found a job. A means of income, so you can try and stand on your feet. OK, so? Still not special. Not at all. A spouse, children? Stop bragging about how special they are. Maybe to you, but that's insignificant.

Here comes the sad part. You will never be special. Not in a million years. You may think that what you own makes you special. It doesn't. Owning a car makes you similar to everyone else driving a car. One of the many. Same thing with your clothes, your gadgets. Do you think that if you own a high end Apple device makes you special? Just the same as the other 10 million 'special' Apple user worldwide  Owning a house, a castle, an island - again, not special. And if you believe that all the above-said things make you who you are, you are way worse.
Beliefs and wit?  Come one, you couldn't have not noticed the books that have and are being published, they all contain people's ideas, creeds and visions. 

Of course, the loved ones still refer to you as their special person: offspring, spouse, friend, even enemy, but this is because they don't want to hurt you, not necessarily because they like you. Nobody likes you for who you are, but for what you are in the relationship with them.
Still not special. Nothing you can do or think can make you special. You are no more then a sum of your fears, just the same as everyone else, trying to get reasonably through life. Of course, you can be famous or unreasonably lucky, charmingly intelligent or maybe strikingly beautiful. Still not special.

And I'll  let you in on a little secret. No matter how many self improvement books you read or how many seminars attend or how many motivational speeches you hear, there's no way of unveiling 'the special person that you really are'.

If you think that you are special and deserve to be treated as such by life or your peers, take a better look at yourself and think again, because you can never be free until you realize you are not special.


#currentsituation Immortals

In a world of immortals, everything we know or might have ever imagined means nothing. 

All has been tried and nothing worked. War, peace, starvation, hunger, disease are all forgotten words. They used to be entertainment for a while, until humanity realized that there's nothing left to be entertained with.

Those times are gone. Immortality pulled the plug. There are no more vices, because everyone did everything. No more victims, no more pain. We are immortals and nothing can hurt us, anymore.

There is also no more joy, no more suspense. The question 'what's next?' has lost it's meaning. We all know what's next: no matter what we do, no matter what we think, originality is out of reach. We really tried everything and did everything. Nothing can surprise us anymore.

Just the same as our ancestors sought to obtain immortality, we now seek entertainment, surprise, emotion. All in vain, so far. Nothing's new and will ever be and we need to cope somehow with this reality.


#currentsituation Thought of the day: Redemption

The ultimate act of freedom would be us all adapting to the fucking kingdom of nothingness, and then, when it all goes down the drain, we must embrace this shit with open arms. 


#currentsituation Another end of the world

So I went to this cafe where a band was playing a live show. Nothing fancy, but a rather cosy thing, like a quiet evening among friends.
As we sat there enjoying the drinks, the music, the soothing feeling that we belonged, something changed on the outside. At first, nobody was able to notice it. Emergency vehicles run all the time around the city. But then someone noticed a building across the street slowly crumbling and collapsing to a pile of rubble in an excruciating noise. And then the building next to it started swaying, and we all felt the concrete dance of the rubble.

The road has become a weird snake under the changing light. The people around me startled out the door, but there was no way to step outside of the cafe with all the flying debris and the sinking walkways.

As everybody started to panic, I asked James, the guitarist, to start playing. I had to insist, and he reluctantly picked up the instrument. His eyes, used to be so alive during the show, were now shot with fear and uncertainty. However, he timidly started on a song. As he struggled on, his mates accompanied him. Miraculously, the rest of us re-took our places at our tables and ignored the grinding that went on all around us.

As we looked out the windows, we could see the end chewing the city around the cafe. Strangely enough, the cafe remained untouched in the middle of this newborn chaos. They just kept playing and nothing would touch us as long as we were in here.

Then somebody outlined it in sheer surprise: don't stop playing man, music keeps us alive, music keeps us safe, it keeps us and our universe alive and it would keep us going on.